There is a negative correlation between how much or badly tou want something from someone and chances of getting what you want from that person.
If you make it obvious that you want something really bad, people will naturally start thinking the negative sides of giving you what you want. That will hold them back and they would hesitate to do your wish. Even if you have something to offer them.
Instead, you should work on how to make them come up with the idea you want. Don't even mention what you want. Make it seem like it's the other "smart person's unique idea".
"How smart i am" is foolish..
When a lower status person gives a compliment or does a favor to a higher status person, higher status person will assume that lower status person wants something from him.
When a higher status does it to the lower status person, lower status person will like higher status person more and will feel an urge to give compliments and favors back like five times more than he received.
The weight of reciprocation will be so strong on their back that they will
feel the need to not only return the favor- but to return it in a much
greater magnitude than we originally gave it in.
This is the reason that some people seem to rapidly ascend to the top of
the social ladder. Once you have established a little bit of social currency,
you are able to multiply that currency. This is very similar to the saying
"the rich get richer."
1. Remember details of her life. Don't be obnoxious or creepy about it,
but by paying attention you'll be able to ask her things later. For
instance, if during a conversation she makes a joke about having wanted
to be a fireman when she was little, in a conversation down the road- if
she's complaining about her current job- say something like- "Well, they
always need fireman." She won't have expected you to remember that
minute detail of a previous conversation… and when you do she'll really
appreciate you.
2. Once you figure out how she views herself, play to that. For instance,
if you can tell that she believes she is very knowledgeable about
movies… say something like "hey, did you see (insert movie) cause I
always trust your opinion on what's good." By doing this you're
demonstrating that you see her as having an expertise in something other
than looking pretty. Most girls want to believe deep down inside that
they're more than their looks.
3. Completely drop your guard around her. Don't hesitate to say
anything you would around your male friends. Be 100% completely
yourself. Don't stress your faults or blunders- but don't go out of your
way to hide them. Most guys put on such a front around her, that the
realness you display around her will be refreshing.
4. Develop an inside joke with her. If the two of you are involved in a
social scene together you can pick another person in that scene and share
a bit of information with her about that person- but tell her she can't tell
anyone. Make it ridiculously unbelievable, but play it up very well. Now
whenever this person is around, make inside references to that little piece
of knowledge. She'll always be questioning you about whether or not it's
true- and soon the mere sight of this person will make her wish you were
around to share in the humor.
5. Get her to experience something completely outside her comfort
zone. And make her have a good time doing it. For instance, after a
work Christmas party one year, I got the entire staff- women included- to
head over to a strip bar with me. If you can get her to do something
outside of her comfort zone, and associate the rewarding and exciting
feeling with you- she'll become addicted to the thrill you provide.
1. Smiling - People who are at ease, confident, and happy tend to smile,
and that smile puts people at ease. Smiling shows that you're pleased to
see someone which can be really flattering. If you want to change one
thing to come across more social, smile a big smile. Sometimes you will
not feel in the mood to smile -however, if you choose to smile anyway
you'll still get the great results.
2. Eye contact - Maintaining eye contact when you talk to someone
draws them deep into conversation with you - the rest of the world slows
down, and you both become quite important to each other. It shows a
calm confidence in what they are saying and it makes them even more
engaging, almost hypnotic. A quick tip: Right eye to right eye. Look from
your right eye to the right eye of the person you're talking to. This strikes
a great balance between good eye contact and not staring.
3. Touch - You'll consistently see magnetic people reach out and touch
others. Touching shows emotion and affection and brings you closer to
other people. Humans crave physical contact with others, and more
emotion and affection can be expressed through touch than any number
of words ever could. Next time someone does or says something you
really like, give them a high five, some "pound", a playful punch on the
arm or a big hug.
4. Not talking about yourself - Likable people typically are more
curious to get to know other people and don't talk about themselves as
much. Likable people are always looking to find out more about the
other person, what they are doing, and what interests them the most.
Most people don't feel heard - likable people know this, and encourage
others to talk about what they really enjoy.
5. Not talking too much - Closely related to the above point. Likable
people and high status people do not talk too much. Instead they
encourage others to talk and to open up. People love to talk about their
experiences and cool things they've done - when you become more
curious and encourage them to speak more, they'll actually like you more.
If you catch yourself rambling for a while, an easy way to adjust is to say,
"But that's enough about me - what about you?"
6. Empathy - Making people feel understood, and striving to truly
understand them is powerful. Everyone wants to be understood. People
want to know that they are not alone in the world. If you can reach out
to understand another person, you'll instantly form a great connection
with them. Next time someone tells you something heavy that you could
have a long discussion on, instead try saying just "I understand." You'll
be amazed at how uplifting it can make other people feel.
7. Not trying to impress - Somewhat accomplished people want
everyone to know about the accomplishments they've made. Really
amazing people are much more humble and low key about what they've
done. The most impressive people never actively try to impress people.
The result is that a man trying to impress communicates that he's not
impressive.
8. Showing praise and appreciation - Whenever you see anything you
like in another person, let them know. If people aren't used to you
opening up, praising, and appreciating constantly, you might get a funny
reaction at first. Once you've established that you're constantly on the
lookout for great things in others, people get used to feeling empowered
around you. When you do mention something you really like, keep it
casual. No big deal, no long talk. Just, "Hey, I really appreciate that you
did that." "I thought that was really cool how you did that."
9. Never criticizing, ever, for any reason - Likable people never
criticize others. People universally hate criticism, and hate people that
criticize them. Likable people always start off with genuine praise and
appreciation before trying to give constructive feedback, and will only
give this feedback rarely (because likable people understand that praise is
a much better way to help people change than even constructive
feedback, and criticizing is almost always useless).
10. Not trying to fix other peoples' problems - When someone tells
you they have a problem, but doesn't explicitly ask for your help, that
means they do not want you to tell them how to solve it. They want to
feel understood, cared about, and empowered. Over 90% of the time,
people know the solutions to their own problems. If someone brings a
minor problem to you, try listening, nodding, letting them know you
understand, and you're with them. Tell them you believe in them and you
think they'll sort it out. If they ask what you'd do, maybe make a quick
suggestion but don't drive the point really hard. As crazy as it sounds,
most people do not tell others about their problems in order to get
solutions; they want understanding, empathy, and reassurance. People are
very strong and quite good at solving their own problems when believed
in.
11. Eliminate negativity - Never mentioning anything you don't like.
Especially never being down on culture-wide things outside of your
direct control: So, not complaining about the government, pop culture,
fashions you think are silly, activist groups you disagree with, and so on.
Being positive is really good. Not talking about things you dislike is even
more important.
12. Never complain - When people complain, others feel slightly less
inclined to be around them. It brings people down. If you don't like
something, you have two choices: Take action to fix it, or accept that it's
there. When you realize that, there's no reason
to complain.
13. Never impose weakness on others - Everyone feels down from
time to time. The most charismatic people never "impose" that down
feeling on others; instead, they're a fort of strength for people around
them. The more you stay composed, and refrain from showing being
fazed or flustered, the more you gain control over your life. People start
to respect you more, and they feel they can rely on you.
- Take your time on the phone, you are giving your valuable time to the person you are talking with. Never let anyone try to hurry and hang up the phone. And always initiate the end of the conversation first. This is hard to do if the other person called you. Normally people call you to say something or invite you somewhere or just check on you etc.. They have a subject and purpose. When they done with the subject, they will tend to end first. Because they called you right? This time, you should find something to say or ask anything or some shit to interrupt their "conversation ending process" and make it your turn. Keep it short and initiate the end!
- Make assumptions if you wanna ask something. I.E Say "I guess you've never visited Turkey yet" rather than "Have you ever visit Turkey?"
- Actually do the above for your every interaction. Relax and take your time.
- Whenever you see the other person is not responding well to your valuable playful line or joke that you initiated, just look at them like a child who did something wrong. Look at them like the mixture of "What have you done?" and "Who the fuck do you think you are?".
- Whenever someone try to take you in their frame like judging your taste of music, your beliefs or the way you do something, don't ever argue. Just say "That's the way i do" or "Because i like that". If they insist about take your taste down, just ask "What's in it in your suggestion?". When they respond, say "I don't care." Remember: It's not the thing what is cool. It's you that makes that cool. In other words it's cool because you listen it or doing it!
- Always be conscious about the image you are actively displaying. Question yourself am i looking confident badass or not. People admire a social superstar who is looking like figured all social rules out. In fact, no one can know everything. But the key is, you should always look like "the guy who figured all out" like "you know what to do under every circumstances".
- You are the one who should take things one step further. Don't always push her or stay back all the time. Learn to push and pull and immediately start kino. Start with subtle quick touches and shift it further step by step. Soon, start showing your intention. That way, you will always know if she's interested in or not.
- When you met with a new person, at first times, look busy, trying to pay attention what he/she says, trying to look like "my all attention is with you, but i am a busy person and i have some distractions." It can be your phone text messages, calls, someone you know in the street, etc...
- Make DHV Stories that indicates you have lots of cool people in your social circles. For example, a friend who used to live in london. Or a cousin who is an important business man or who knows too many important people. Or a dean cousin. A Russian ex-gf, etc.. The key here is, you have to give those cool information about those people or yourself as a secondary little detail. Tell it like it is an unimportatnt little detail. Otherwise it would look like bragging.
- In order to avoid looking like you are bragging, try to tell DHV details as they are not important. You are not taking that fact seriously. Tell your story like your punchline about that story is much more important than that. And make sure that story is really interesting or funny. It is cool, you know that but it is not that important to you because you are a cool person and always have cool things in your life.
- Always make a plan for doing something, and than bring people together. Make them tag along with you. Plan the bounces, make it look cool and make sure you are not bossing people about what to do. Ask their opinions, if they have a cooler plan say okay we can go there. That will make you the alpha male of the group. People will don't want to be contradict with you, they won't want to mess with you and if someone do, you can easily punish them by ignoring them for a while or not calling them for the next time you go out. But don't exaggerate it. Just make them feel they did something wrong, but you are ultimately a compassionate and a mercyful person.
- Don't be available for people all the time. At least you should always make them wait for it. For example someone wants you to take them somewhere. Even if you want more than that person to take them there, act like you are busy, you are not as excited as them (Be careful sometimes its not a good thing to look like not excited at all) wait for 10 minutes and then you can go.
- Find something to compliment on him/her that seems like something you saw no one else see before. Something that's not physical. Do it in a powerful way. And next time in future, find something else to say he/she can do better if he/she fixes something. It won't look like criticizing, and they will like/respect you.
- An extended social circle is crucial my friend.. You need friends. When you start seeing someone, you've got to show that you have a real, fun social life without her. You have mixed groups. Drawn her in.
Be relaxed
The easiest way to convey a relaxed body language is relaxing your mind. Breathe slower if you sense that you are uncomfortable. Relax your hands, don't shove your hands in your pockets, people do it because they dont know what to do with their hands. Just let them hang naturally. Sit still when you are sitting. Avoid uncomfortable moves such as constantly changing your crossed legs.
Be powerful.
Do gunslinger walk. Throw your shoulders back, chin up and look at the horizon instead of peoples paces coming towards you.
Knowing smile. (I know something you don't know)
Stand at ease like a marine
Convey dominance and purpose as you walk. Walk with half of your regular speed when you are in a venue. Choose the shortest route when you go somewhere. Don't make circles around a set thinking how to approach like a vulture.
5 non verbal gestures you should master using
your eyes (Social Superstar)
1. Eyebrow shrug. Not everyone can do this, but most folks can.
Raising both eyebrows can be used to show a number of different moods
and expressions. An eyebrow shrug can signify that a person is surprised,
or is expecting a response - it can almost be used as a dare or challenge.
A quick, subtle shrug of the eyebrows (sometimes held longer) can also
be used to express interest. It is often done subconsciously by both men
and women - you can shrug your eyebrows at her to let her know you’re
interested, or make a note when she shrugs hers at you, because she’s
interested too.
2. Wink (one eye). A favorite of television rakes and seducers, the wink is
nonetheless a fantastic means of communication. It’s sufficiently
mysterious that it gets girls wondering, and shows a strong degree of
social confidence and awareness on your part. The wink is a great way to
respond to a woman when she asks you a question you don’t feel like
answering if she’s giving you a hard time…
3. Slow, hard blink (two eyes). This is an easy and effective way of
communicating disbelief, as in, “Did you actually just say that?” Two
versions: in one, you are looking away and to the right when you open
your eyes. This is the version that puts more social pressure on the girl
(to qualify herself or retract a remark). In the other, you are looking
straight at the girl when you open your eyes - this is the more playful (still
with some social pressure) version.
4. Squint. The squint is a way of saying that you are thinking about
something, or alternatively that you doubt the truth or accuracy of
something that is being said. If you look at a woman and squint, it can
seem like you are sizing her up and trying to decide if you like her a lot.
You will see that many men who are good with women squint while they
are talking to them. It helps to place them in the position of being the
slightly skeptical selector.
5. Ultra-skeptical look. This is when you look at a woman like she just
said the most retarded thing you’ve ever heard. Basically, you pull your
lips into a half-smile (with one side of your mouth), while kind-of
laughing/huffing in a “I can’t believe she said that” way, and
simultaneously shrugging your eyebrows. You hold this look and stare at
her until she gives into the social pressure.
Your attitude should convey that you are a busy guy, your time is limited and you will not be around all the time. But never verbally say that, it should be an idea that they come up with. Also don't let them feel that you are superior to them and leave them behind.
Force your limits everyday and get out of your comfort zone.
Only seek approval from yourself
Labels: Alpha
How do your eyes follow the crowd? As if you’re disinterested
(meaning, you’re not paying too much attention to any one person) - and
that’s because you feel that there is nobody worthy of your attention. In
other words, you’re never “star-struck” because you are the star. In the
end, your goal is to give off the impression that you’re a prestigious
person accustomed to ranking high in social circles - not even the
blonde-bombshell walking by can shake this poise. You may cast a
glance, but you’re too prestigious to stare. People around you WILL
notice this and subconsciously decide that you ARE a person of prestige. (Social Superstar)
Think about how you gonna say rather than what you gonna say!
* Never seem to be in a hurry - hurrying betrays a lack of control over
yourself, and over time.
* Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you
eventually.
* Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease - so when you
act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Cloak your focus on
the elements (which will more than likely seem intense when you first
start practicing the art) by being confident on the outside and relaxed on
the inside. Never let them see you sweat.
* Practice being subtle (”subtle,” as used here, means ‘So slight as to be
difficult to detect or analyze; elusive.’).
People are not enemies and hostiles, be playful and at ease with them. Be like you used to being treated well all the times!
Looks like it's crucial to quickly read the target's self esteem level and if it's too high, if she sees herself higher status than you, if she looks like she doesn't give a fuck, than it's time to throw a neg. Lower her ass down a bit. Show her you don't give a shit to her, she can't take you down. Show yourself powerful, be stronger.
Always assume higher value, see her like you are her big brother.
Never hesitate. Never think she is so much cool. She can be cool but how
cool she can be at most? No more than you..
Learn how
to use false dis-qualifier. It is a powerful tool when it is required.
Go under the radar if she is high in self esteem and lower it with
showing that you are not after her.
Neg if it's necessary.
Authority + Dominance + Social Proof
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